Into the Pits (part 3)
July 11, 2009 at 7:58 am | In Christian, Husbands, Jobs, Prayer, Unemployment, Working mom, family, finances, kids, marriage, motherhood, parenthood, teaching | Leave a CommentIt can’t get any worse. That was what I was telling myself. I was wrong. So here we are, my husband is unemployed again. This time I fear he will not get unemployment. I mean he quit this job. We can’t pay our bills on my salary. I am a teacher.
On one hand I was thankful this happened after school got out. I’m not sure that I could have taught and made myself go to work each day. However, on the other hand, now both of us are home together…all day and night. We didn’t have any space to work this out.
Then it gets worse.
It was Sunday morning and we were getting ready for church. I discover that my husband has made some other choices. Choices that were definitely not in the best interest of our family. I then reacted. This was not a thought out move, but a reaction. I asked him to leave.
I love my husband. He is basically a good man. We have been together for 15 years. He has not been himself since he was laid off, but some of this goes even deeper.
Now I am by myself with two children and definitely not enough money. My husband has moved to his mother’s house. What am I going to do?
I pray.
Itching for Summer
May 14, 2009 at 3:02 pm | In Working mom, family, kids, motherhood, parenthood, school, teaching | 2 CommentsAbout this time of year my students start to become more difficult. The days seem longer and their attention seems shorter. They start gazing out the window and start smelling more than a little ripe after recess. I love fall and the excitement of beginning a new year, but the end is always bittersweet.
On one hand I’m as excited as they are for a break from our daily routine. Plus if I’m totally honest, I’m ready to pass on some of my angels to next year’s teacher.
But on the other hand, I have so much that I want to teach them still. Not to mention I will miss all of them when they move on (no matter how ready I am to pass them on.)
I also truly enjoy my summers. It is the time I re-energize for the upcoming year. I plan. I work. I take classes, and I plan some more. It is also therapy time for me. Teaching is an incredibly difficult job both physically and emotionally. I enjoy cleaning my house, spending time with my two favorite boys, and exploring different interests.
We are all ready for summer! I can feel it (and smell it! Who knew that such little people can create such smell!)
We Have a New Tenant
May 12, 2009 at 7:45 pm | In Working mom, family, kids, motherhood, parenthood | 1 CommentI knew when I first saw my house that I loved it. Apparently so did another female. I would like to introduce you to expectant mother, Carlie the Cardinal.
We were rather shocked to see that she had used our produce basket to make her nest. Immediately out our deck door.
She also has 7 eggs that she is currently sitting on. Well we are trying to make it easy on the new mother. We aren’t using the deck until they move. Well at least not very much. We have another door to the backyard that we can use while we wait for babies. We will keep you updated!
Finding Myself
May 7, 2009 at 7:50 pm | In Christian, God, Prayer, Working mom, family, kids, marriage, motherhood, parenthood, school, teaching | 3 CommentsAfter the extreme chaos of the last 4 months, I am trying to find myself again. I’m finding it difficult physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.
My body is still trying to adjust to 4 months of stress. Truly more like 8 months of stress. Todd’s being unemployed and then me jumping into too many commitments. I think looking back on it all that maybe I agreed to do all those things as a ways of avoiding the pressures of home. Todd’s unemployment was very hard on both of us. I gained 20 pounds. I’ve lost five, but it is hard. I feel lethargic and unmotivated.
I also think spiritually I’m off kilter. I feel very far away from God right now. I don’t like it. I know what I need to do, but I’m so tired that I don’t do it.
I’m trying to get back into some of my old habits (including, but not limited to blogging), but I’m finding it so difficult. Praying, reading, and even connecting with friends is taking effort. Even getting daily things done is hard. I have piles of little things that need my attention. I have lists of appointments to make for summer, camp applications to get filled out, and homework to turn it (eek due on the 11th.) Heck, even my poor dog needs to go to the vet.
Honestly, I think I am just tired. I’m ready for summer, even if I do have class all of June.
Allowing Myself to Not Be Busy
May 2, 2009 at 4:14 pm | In Working mom, motherhood | 1 CommentI had an an usual thing occur this weekend. I found myself with 24 hours of time. I had no where that I had to be and nothing that had to be done. It doesn’t mean I didn’t have things to do, but nothing HAD to be done.
This was the first “day off” that I have had since December. I don’t count spring break as I was pushing myself to get our house painted.
Having time was difficult for me. I kept finding myself filling it. First I had offers of tickets to go to Women of Faith. I love WOF, but declined knowing that I need this mental/physical break. Then it was the offer of a free ticket for part of the conference. That was incredibly hard to turn down, but I did.
So what did I do? As a family we went to Free Comic Book Day and stocked up on a huge pile. We went to breakfast and then to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I had a gift certificate from the parents at church from the children’s musical. I deliberately did not buy household stuff that I needed. I did buy this lovely reclining lounger. Then I sat in my backyard sipping coffee and reading the third book in the Twilight series.
It was quiet and peaceful. OK except for the screams that happened every 5 minutes or so (we live near an amusement park and we can hear the roller coaster.) Even the screams were calm and relaxing. I need to force more of these days upon myself. I like them. I like them a lot.
Answering an Email
March 16, 2009 at 8:34 am | In Children's Theatre, Theatre, Working mom, family, kids, motherhood | 2 CommentsSuzanne wrote me an email today that was short on words, but long on content. I realized that my communication has broken down not only on my blog, but also with my family and friends. So I decided to use her email as my tool to help me get my head back into blogging. She had lots of questions for me and I decided to share them periodically this week.
From Suzanne, “I’m thinking you have spring break this week. It probably came at a good time, because you had Mulan+ Lunch & Laughs + Improv. Are you still alive? Are you going to post pictures and reviews of Mulan? How did N do?”
I am blessed to have spring break, as I might not have been able to function without it! I have been producing Mulan and Cinderella (Lunch n Laughs), but I also am directing two things at church. One is a drama for Easter morning and the other is a musical that is performed the week after. When I took on Mulan, I had said only through January. I would need to quit in February to work on the musical. I have a hard time quitting a project. I want to see it through. Needless to say it is the middle of March, and here I am.
Thankfully Cinderella is much easier for me to produce! It is a small cast of adult actors. I didn’t think I would be at any of the performances due to rehearsals for my musical, but most of my actors have soccer on Saturdays! So I don’t think it will be a good rehearsal day. So that may work out.
The worst part about this all is that I have felt…ineffective…scattered…forgetful…barely there. I want to be a person that lives in the moment. That is present when people need me and are with me. I haven’t felt that way for awhile. I have felt like I am going 400 different directions. While I’m working on something, I might be thinking about something else. This is something I want to change.
As far as Mulan went, WOW, what a great show! The kids were amazing. This was truly a wonderful group of children. I saw N interact with the cast in ways he hadn’t with others. I saw him develop many friendships and show leadership that he hadn’t in other shows. He is no longer one of the little kids, but now one of the OLDER kids. It was very obvious this show. I am very proud of him.
The first weekend run (and it ran for three weekends) I was VERY worried about ticket sales, and actually throughout the run. In the past we typically have sold most of our tickets preshow and have maybe 25% walk-ups. I think due to the economics of our country that changed. Most of our ticket sales were . Yesterday we basically sold out. We set up an extra row, and I think we only had a handful of seats left.
I really enjoyed listening to people’s reactions. Yesterday I overheard, “Wow! I can’t believe these are kids.” When I tell people about our theatre, I think people expect a typical school play. This is not your usual school play. Our shows are as good as any theatre I have been too (considering our budget, compared to say, Broadway’s! 
)
We had one guy drive from Winterset, which is a good hour plus from our community. He had seen it written up in the newspaper. He loved it and will be coming to our next show. That is part of the magic of our theatre. Even though we are a children’s theatre our shows truly entertain all ages. Another person had seen Mulan performed somewhere else and they really weren’t looking forward to seeing it at our theatre. They were relatives of one of the actors. Apparently the production they had previously seen was very serious and ours was definitely comedic!
N is the Emperor in purple. His friend is the Hun, ready to behead him.
One of my goals when I came on the Board of Directors was to help develop a balance in our theatre. At the time we only performed our mainstage shows. I felt like there was a lack of balance in the education part of theatre. I guess that is why I am so excited about all of our programs. Our Teen Improv, summer classes, and even our Lunch n Laughs help balance out the education vs. performance. We are able to get kids in the lights and sound booth and involved with the backstage duties as well. There are those kids that will never be “on-stage”, but want to learn about theatre. We are beginning to meet those kids.
We have made some mistakes, and we may make more. We are a young theatre, ran by a very talented, dedicated group of VOLUNTEERS. We all work full-time jobs, as well as run this small business. Mistakes and learning adventures will happen. But all in all, I think everyone’s hard work is evident. Our list of hard working volunteers goes back about eight years. Many people have worked hard to create what we have now.
I truly feel like we are unique in our community. I love that.
N is acting as a Father in this scene with A. A played Mulan’s Father.
Now for my mommy moment: N was SO GOOD! I was really proud of him. He had his first real lines and solo. I know I think he has a great voice, but I heard it from lots of people. I hope he continues to sing as he grows up. He was so regal and refined as the Emperor, which for N is way out of character!
Hi! I do still exist!
March 7, 2009 at 10:51 am | In Children's Theatre, Theatre, Working mom, family, kids, motherhood, parenthood | 5 CommentsThis morning in my inbox I got an email from Suzanne. She was just checking in, because she realized I have been MIA from blogging for almost a month. A MONTH???? Could it really have been that long??? Wow! Time has slipped away from me.
Our family has been in a state of chaos. Although it has been exciting, fun, and wonderful, it is still chaos. Mulan is in its 2nd week, and thankfully we only have one more weekend to go. We are all physically, emotionally, and spiritually a bit drained. My children climb in bed at night with me for a little while, just to get some “mommy time.” They don’t seem to care that mommy falls asleep before they do.
We have all had some sort of virus this last week, not even the same one. I have head goo and a cough, but my youngest got the stomach virus.
Even with all of this we have been so blessed. Todd’s new job is working out well. He likes it and seems happy. Mulan is wonderful and the cast has been a joy to work with. My boys seem to be adjusting to our new schedule and seem more secure with Daddy back at work.
Me? I’m looking forward to spring break! In a week I will truly have a bit of down time. I will sit down catch up on a month of missed blogs and blogging. I will get my next show fully underway and with any luck, I will get my living room painted.
I hope you are having a blessed day! Thanks for stopping by and checking up on me!
On My Mind
January 26, 2009 at 8:49 pm | In Working mom, books, family, finances, marriage | 1 CommentI have been spending a lot of time thinking about finances lately. That of course is bound to happen in this current economic crisis. For those that don’t know my husband was laid off awhile ago, and has not been able to find a job. This seems to be becoming a more common problem for many families.
We are currently participating in a course that our church is offering on financial management. We have learned so much and are actually able to put most of it in practice even on one income. The course is Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. I like it because it is very “real.” His strategies are doable. They take in account that I will need a little bit of “blow” money. Most of all I like that it requires both Todd and I to work together. This has not been our strong point. For some reason, I can’t talk about money without having an anxiety attack–seriously. I blame it on growing up broke.
On a different, yet similar note, I am listening to a book on tape right now that is amazing. I was basically forced to listen to it, by my husband and children. They had listened to it over the past few weeks and had finished it. The book is call The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. It is a book about vampires. Normally that probably wouldn’t catch my interest very much, but this is a really good book. I want to hear more, and more, and more… you get the picture.
A Weekend Alone
January 24, 2009 at 8:20 am | In Working mom, family, friends, kids, marriage, motherhood, parenthood, school, teaching | 1 CommentAll my guys went camping this weekend. They left last night. So I have a day “off.” I’ve contemplated this time. What should I do? Should I go somewhere? Should I hang out with friends? I’ve probably spent almost as much time thinking about what to do, as I will have actually doing it.
In the end I spent Friday night at the grocery store and asleep by 9:30. Today I will pop in the theatre this morning, and spend the evening at Teen Improv. The rest of the time? I believe I will watch some teaching inservice DVD’s on the Daily 5 and clean my house.
Does that sound boring to you? I hate to say it, but it sounds delightful to me. I will have temporary quiet and release of responsibility. No one needing me or my attention (except for Lilo and Stitch, our dog and cat.)
I am finally getting a very special package in the mail that I have been working on for a while. I will get all of Christmas put away once and for all. I want to bake some cookies. I need to call Suzanne back. I am looking forward to today.
What would you do?
My Children Have Been Retrofied!
January 12, 2009 at 7:04 pm | In Working mom, family, kids, motherhood | 2 CommentsThanks to the transitions of regular TV to digital, we have a slew of new channels. The favorite is hands down a channel called RTN, Retro Television Network. My family has never been big TV watchers. My husband and I would watch after the boys went to bed, but the kids have never really been big evening TV connoisseurs. Probably due to the fact that most of the prime time shows aren’t really kids friendly, in my opinion.
That has now all changed. Now we are lucky if we can get them to turn it off. We have all discovered RTN. It begins early (sometimes 5 am!) with McHale’s Navy, then we meander over to Leave it to Beaver, and Bachelor Father. In the evening we are all enamored with The A-Team, Magnum PI, Voyagers (my personal childhood favorite), Buck Rogers, and Battlestar Galatica. However, hands down the family favorite is Emergency!
As soon as my children overhear the tones and the announcement, “Station 51, Station 51…” they run to watch. Unfortunately it is on at 9 pm, which is past bedtime. We now have to tape it (yes–no Tivo.)
My children know who Friday is, they understand mom is nothing like June Cleaver, and they totally love Mr. T. Now we have always exposed them to some of our old favorites. I have seasons of H.R. Pufenstuff, Land of the Lost, and Hogan’s Heroes. So before you expose your children to RTN (if it is available to you…) may I just say…
“Danger Will Robinson!!! Danger Will Robinson!!!” You may soon have to peel screaming children off the television screen.
(On a similarly strange note, one of my students didn’t even realize you could have TV without cable or a dish. He was amazed when I said we have neither.”)
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