As a teacher I usually LOVE fall. All the hope and promise of a new year makes me excited. I have to be honest though, I’m really not feeling it this year. Normally, I have my classroom set up and have my long term planning completed by now. I typically have been searching other classroom websites and have all these wonderful ideas brewing in my head. I am just not there this year. I think there is a combination of factors affecting my attitude.
First, I am loving summer, being with my kids, and getting projects completed. My kids are at this really fun age where they can do most of the projects I think of and LIKE IT! In a few years I am afraid they will think I am a nut. Not to mention that this time of year is when I get to live out my stay at home mom fantasy. I also feel very accomplished this summer with my goals, but have more that I want to do (you can refer to yesterday’s entry to get an idea! 🙂 )
Second, last year was hard! I had a challenging class and it took a lot of my physical, mental, and emotional energy. Combine that with my work at the theatre and I felt like my family was getting very little of me. I also know that next year is not going to be a piece of cake. I love the diversity of my school, but that is also the challenge of it.
Third, my school is not air-conditioned and I have the warmest room in the building. It is typically over 100 degrees until October. This is very hard for me. The students are not learning at their full potential and I am not teaching to mine. It is completely draining. That is very hard to look forward to.
Fourth, I realized the other day that in my whole 20 year career, I have NEVER worked in the same classroom for longer than three years. This will be my fourth in my current classroom. I am not being forced to pack or unpack, to learn a whole new curriculum, to get to know an entire new staff, or clean out any new cupboards. I actually kind of feel like I know what I’m doing. This is new territory for me. I’m not kidding. I haven’t ever been in the same position for this long before.
Fifth, my teaching partner retired and I loved her. I had the sweetest, kindest, gentlest teaching partner and she retired. Now having said that, my new teaching partner is lovely. I have known her for three years and we have a lot in common. I think we will be a successful team and good friends. Yet I will miss my friend.
There are also some other real life issues going on. My husband is on the verge of having to make a job change after 15 years. Change is stressful as is the uncertainty of the whole situation. I think it will be good in the long run, but that doesn’t reduce the stress now.
Then there is that whole stay home mommy fantasy again. I think that is a really big part of it. I really LIKE being with my kids. I enjoy them. They are fun to be with. It makes me happy. Of course they will be going back to school too, but I will still miss being with them all day.
I am going to work on getting my head back in the game (to quote High School Musical.) I need to begin working on school stuff at least half an hour, spend time praying for my incoming students, and maybe try to do some on-line classroom searches to get me more motivated.
I keep referring this verse to my husband as it is one of my favorites especially in times of uncertainty.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
This morning when I checked my friend’s blog, Moments with God, she had this verse and I think it applies to me today.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)