Really got a glimpse into what my son feels everyday

My youngest has PDD or on the autism spectrum, however you want to say it.  He also has sensory issues.  Today I was sitting at a teacher’s meeting with 9 other people at a very small table.  I was thrown 18 (literally) pages of graphs that all basically look the same and was told to sort them into two piles.  The table was covered with stuff, everyone’s notebooks, sodas, boxes of pens, etc… 

There was a tremendous amount of noise.  At our table everyone was talking.  We were supposed to be analyzing data about reading comprehension and fluency.  This instantly starts everyone in defense mode.  “So and so didn’t pass, because of this…” and that kind of thing. 

Between the noise, stuff, people, and mental demands I lost it.  I snapped at the people around me and sort of threw (more like quickly put) the graphs in the middle and said someone else could figure it out.  My brain shut down.  I couldn’t concentrate again.

Part of the problem is that they grouped first and second together.  I was ready to see where are kids are and start looking at where I want them to be, but the first grade teachers are feeling like they need to defend their scores.  Personally, I thought their scores were fine.  They aren’t great, but they were right in line with our district as a whole.  They were also better than ours last year.

For me though it made me think about how I expect E to recover quickly when he has a sensory meltdown, yet here I was unable to recover.  Everyone has some sensory issues, but most of us develop coping skills.  It was odd for me to feel so violated today.  I was just overwhelmed. 

The next time he melts, I hope I remember and am compassionate with him.


One thought on “Really got a glimpse into what my son feels everyday

  1. This is something I need to keep in mind with Evan as well. I am surprised at how quick we are to pass judgement on kids for misbehaving or melting down when we as adults do this too, from time to time. It does help to walk in other people’s shoes to get a true perspective of where they are coming from.

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