Today we are going to the pool. My friend Suzanne has one directly in her back yard, so they swim a lot. I have a child with sensory processing issues that for years couldn’t do water, I got out of the habit of taking my kids to the pool. Thankfully, E can handle the pool and even knows how to basic swim. That is due to a lovely friend of mine that gave him private lessons. She was beyond patient with him.
Today we are taking the baby, the boys, and 4 cousins. One of the cousins is the baby’s big sister. I am hopeful that this will give them some good bonding time. It’s hard to be 14 and trying to bond during weekly visits. I am really hoping that this gives them time to play and bond in a more authentic environment. Really not just for them, but for all of us. We are not the usual family, but we are family.
I am a little afraid that maybe I have put too many hopes into one trip to the pool. Well that will be alright, we have all summer. We can go again.
I am a person that doesn’t sit well. Yet here I am sitting for the last hour. I struggle between knowing that I need to clean the kitchen, but knowing that this small child that is asleep on my chest will not be small for very long. All it takes is glancing at his brothers and I know how much truth is in that statement. I’m trying to enjoy this. Breathing in his smell and covering his sleeping head with kisses, sounds hard eh? 🙂 If only I could get someone to come and clean out my kitchen. Hmmm…
We went to a lovely small Friday night celebration in our town tonight. It was fabulous. Lots of families, good music, and there were lots of things to do. One of the booths is our Childrens’ Theatre. We, of course, had to stop and talk as I am President of the Board of Directors. After I got my temporary tatoo, I realized that we had lost my oldest son. Not in body, but in spirit. He was no longer with the family.
I look over and he is perched on a cement bench surrounded by three cute, giggly girls. He was gone. He no longer heard anything I was saying, and no longer wanted to walk with us. He was busy.
I’m not sure I’m ready for this. I’m his momma, and of course I think he’s cute, funny, and will someday be a great catch, but not yet… Thankfully another mom that I work with was standing there. Her son is older. He’s a great kid. I just went to his Eagle Scout Ceremony last weekend. Anyway, she told me not to worry. This was “pre-flirting”. Where the kids are just testing themselves.
That really didn’t make me feel any better though.
The Past: This year has been hard. I’ve had an extremely needy class with 29 students. 5 Special Ed, ELL students, 1 probably on the autism spectrum, and 4 in counseling. It completely exhausted me. I had to reduce my commitments in other areas of my life, just so I could function. This has not been my best mom year. My oldest needed more attention, and I see it in his grades. Not that they were bad, but could have been better. Thankfully I won’t be repeating this year again.
The Present: It is SUMMER! Time to re-energize myself and rebuild myself mentally. However, the biggest change is that 3 weeks ago today I became mommy to a 10 month old. We will be adopting a gorgeous little boy. Kobe is extended family, and we are thrilled to love him. I want to come up with some summer goals, and plans for me and my kids. One of my goals is to be writing again. (Hence, why I’m blogging again.)
The future: Next year we have a 3rd, 2nd grade teacher. Since I won’t be working with the SPED teacher directly next year, I won’t have many SPED. I am designated as the low ELL room. So we will really be pushing language and lots of verbalizing. I’m excited about that change. I am also excited that we will have air-conditioning. No more 120 degree days in my classroom. It will be wonderful to have the kids physically able to learn the first month. Usually they lay lifeless on their desks, looking ill. Sadly, I’m not exaggerating.
All in all, life is good. I wish this year had been easier, but God doesn’t promise easy. Perseverance has been my word of the year. Now my word for the summer is relaxation or maybe it should be rejuvenation. I like that one better. 🙂