Sssshhhh! Don’t Tell Anyone!

When my family is asleep, I watch Toddlers and Tiara’s. I live with 4 guys so they enjoy making fun of me when I get to “girlie.”  But in all honesty this is just one of those weird things that you watch, because you don’t quite get it. 

OK, it’s the glitz pageants that I don’t understand.  I think it would be kind of fun to do the natural pageants, but the glitz?  Flippers, makeup, and the money….oy!

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Our Adoption Story

I am a 44-year-old mother of two teenagers, 14 and 15, and a 2 1/2-year-old.  People have commented about my “accident.”  (By the way this cracks me up when they say it to me(white) and my husband (white) while looking at my obviously biracial son.)  K was not an accident. K was a wondrous gift.

A little over three years ago, my cousin committed suicide.  His wife of 20 years became pregnant by someone else 3 or 4 months later.  For reasons that I’m not going into, the family was pretty sure the baby would be taken into foster care.  We inquired about taking the  baby when he was born.

His birth mother made decisions that didn’t include our side of the family, after all we are “blood” to this baby.  Now his brother and sister are my 2nd cousins. I never got to meet the baby.  He was with mom for a while.  Then he was placed in foster care.  Family rumors had him being adopted by a cousin of his birth father.

Then on a Monday I got a phone call from another cousin, “Are you guys still interested in adopting the baby?  He MIGHT need another home”  The baby is now 9 months old and has lived in 3 homes.  Absolutely. My husband and I spoke a bit with his Social Workers.  It sound really iffy.  They didn’t want to move him again if they didn’t have to move him.  I totally understood.

The next Monday I got another phone call asking again if we were really committed to taking him. We decided we better tell the older boys that this might happen.  Like us they considered this baby that we have never met, part of our extended family.  They thought it was  a cool idea.  I stressed this probably wouldn’t happen, as they didn’t want to transition him again to a new home if they didn’t have to do that.

That first meeting in the driveway.

That Friday morning I got a call at 10:30.  I’m at school teaching.  An hour later I am in my driveway holding this sweet little boy and falling in love.  He seemed like he had been there from the beginning.  He bonded very quickly, and is loved beyond measure.

Now almost 2 years later I am so grateful that my cousin(not his birth mom) remembered that we wanted him, and told the Social Workers about us.  There were other family members that would have taken him, but I really feel that it was God’s plan to have him here.

In less than two weeks our lives were turned upside down and inside out.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Did I Sign Up For All Of This?

In my last post Sleeping Mom commented, “sometimes I wonder did I sign up for all of this.”  Of course, that was specifically about temper tantrums.  It got me thinking though.

Before I had kids I know that I didn’t think about some of the challenges that I am facing.   I’m not even talking about the ADHD and Autism Spectrum stuff.  I’m thinking specifically school and girls.

As a teacher I expected my kids to excel at school.  I mean, why wouldn’t they?  OK, the ADHD, Autism thing… still I think my children are brilliant. 🙂  And they are, except they won’t turn in their assignments.  I’m not saying won’t do them. They just don’t turn them in….AAARGHH!

Then there is the girl thing.  When my 15-year-old got his heartbroken, it broke mine.  I wanted to smack the little girl who did it.  Now, I actually like her, but she hurt my baby.  I’m going to have a hard time when he actually MARRIES one.

The things I know that I didn’t intentionally sign on for:

  • obsessions…toddlers/Blues Clues and Thomas….teenagers/screamo music and video games
  • hour-long showers
  • holes in the wall, that no one can explain
  • 92 loads of laundry a week

and probably the most important thing that I didn’t sign up for was that grow up in the blink of a second.

 

Fruit leather

Fruit leather

So I’m organizing my Pinterest boards this morning.  I’m moving all my veggie and fruit recipes to their own board.  Funny how much organization my online presence needs (a summer goal to be sure.) I ran across a great fruit leather recipe that I won’t get made until this summer.

I started thinking that I need to make a summer goal pinboard for all those “projects” that I want to accomplish.  I wonder how many I will actually get done.

Temper Tantrums

I have an incredibly stubborn two-year old.  He even beats my child that used to have three-hour melt downs (autism spectrum).  I have learned that there is a huge difference between a melt down and a full-blown temper tantrum.

Bless his little heart, but he thinks he should be in charge of the world.  He is strong, smart, and very precocious.  This is making for a parenting challenge that I didn’t expect.

I’m having Nanny 911 flashbacks while I try to make him take a time out.  Pretty sure Nanny Jo would have some things to say to me.  I’m not going to wrestle him into a time out though.  I will take him to his bedroom and sit in the door.  Ultimately, once he sits quietly (and this can take 25 minutes–or more)  I will let him up.

We aren’t at a point then that I can get him to sit for two minutes.  I think if he calms himself and sits at all then we are making progress.  I will get there, but first he has to learn that temper tantrum or not, I will make him sit.

Does anyone else have super stubborn two-year olds?