Did I Sign Up For All Of This?

In my last post Sleeping Mom commented, “sometimes I wonder did I sign up for all of this.”  Of course, that was specifically about temper tantrums.  It got me thinking though.

Before I had kids I know that I didn’t think about some of the challenges that I am facing.   I’m not even talking about the ADHD and Autism Spectrum stuff.  I’m thinking specifically school and girls.

As a teacher I expected my kids to excel at school.  I mean, why wouldn’t they?  OK, the ADHD, Autism thing… still I think my children are brilliant. 🙂  And they are, except they won’t turn in their assignments.  I’m not saying won’t do them. They just don’t turn them in….AAARGHH!

Then there is the girl thing.  When my 15-year-old got his heartbroken, it broke mine.  I wanted to smack the little girl who did it.  Now, I actually like her, but she hurt my baby.  I’m going to have a hard time when he actually MARRIES one.

The things I know that I didn’t intentionally sign on for:

  • obsessions…toddlers/Blues Clues and Thomas….teenagers/screamo music and video games
  • hour-long showers
  • holes in the wall, that no one can explain
  • 92 loads of laundry a week

and probably the most important thing that I didn’t sign up for was that grow up in the blink of a second.

 

Fruit leather

Fruit leather

So I’m organizing my Pinterest boards this morning.  I’m moving all my veggie and fruit recipes to their own board.  Funny how much organization my online presence needs (a summer goal to be sure.) I ran across a great fruit leather recipe that I won’t get made until this summer.

I started thinking that I need to make a summer goal pinboard for all those “projects” that I want to accomplish.  I wonder how many I will actually get done.

Temper Tantrums

I have an incredibly stubborn two-year old.  He even beats my child that used to have three-hour melt downs (autism spectrum).  I have learned that there is a huge difference between a melt down and a full-blown temper tantrum.

Bless his little heart, but he thinks he should be in charge of the world.  He is strong, smart, and very precocious.  This is making for a parenting challenge that I didn’t expect.

I’m having Nanny 911 flashbacks while I try to make him take a time out.  Pretty sure Nanny Jo would have some things to say to me.  I’m not going to wrestle him into a time out though.  I will take him to his bedroom and sit in the door.  Ultimately, once he sits quietly (and this can take 25 minutes–or more)  I will let him up.

We aren’t at a point then that I can get him to sit for two minutes.  I think if he calms himself and sits at all then we are making progress.  I will get there, but first he has to learn that temper tantrum or not, I will make him sit.

Does anyone else have super stubborn two-year olds?

Sleep Glorious Sleep

Sleep doesn’t happen much with my 2 year old.  Last night was no exception.  He was up from 1 until 4:30 am.  Jealous, aren’t you? 🙂  Thankfully he crawled up in my bed and watched movies the whole night.  I drifted in and out.  I’m not feeling too bad this morning and a couple cups of coffee should keep me going.

My oldest is performing in a Show Choir competition today.  I haven’t decided if I will be going or not. We have these pretty much every weekend for the next two months.  I found out last year that Show Choir competitions and a toddler are not compatible.  Since N has been performing since he was 8 in one thing or another, it doesn’t phase him if I’m there or not.  He likes it, but it doesn’t bother him at all.  Right now it is all about his “friends.” 

So my goals for today are:

  • bake two birthday cakes for tomorrow
  • laundry, laundry, and more laundry
  • make a valentine table runner

What are your goals?

Still Struggling and Thunderstorms

Our household is still struggling with the death of our dog, Lilo.  We all feel guilty for one reason or another.  I feel guilty for not taking her to the vet sooner in the day. The house is so quiet without her.  For a dog that rarely barked, she definitely made her presence known.  She was incredibly sweet, but very strong-willed.  We have a bell hooked up by the door that she would ring to let us know that she needed to go outside.  Last night it rang.  It was our cat playing with the bell.  The cat misses her too.  We made some paw prints from her paws the other night with the technicians at the vets.  The Vet and the technicians were wonderful.

Not getting a lot of sleep the last few nights due to increased thunderstorms.  We had golf ball size hail too.  Sounds like we have a break in the storms during the day today, but more tonight.  No sleep again.  Only one kid woke up last night though, and he went back to sleep.

Lots to do today as I will be helping my brother move, and trying to complete yesterday’s goals. Right now I need to find out why the baby is so quiet…

Today

No secret the last three years have been difficult at best.  The last two weeks have really been particularly bad.  So I am focusing on today.  Today I am thankful for my wonderful three boys, the home I live in, and time to work on projects.  So my goals for today are to get the kitchen cleaned (especially the refrigerator), find an end to the laundry, get all of the registrations entered for summer camps, and to begin my prayer journal.

I haven’t been very good at getting things accomplished lately, and so I’m hoping that with some goal setting I can find myself in this mess.  You know that it is bad when others look at your garage and “Hoarders” the TV show comes to mind. 🙂  (Only slightly exaggerating here.)

Summer is a time of renewal for me.  I need to regenerate and maybe more reinvigorate myself.  I feel like the character in Eat, Pray, Love.

End of the day Reflection: Got the freezer cleaned out, kitchen started, bought the journal, and gathered all of the summer camp registrations.  More importantly I hugged, loved, and talked with my kids today.  We grieved for our 9-year-old English Cocker, Lilo, and cried a few tears.   We had to put her to sleep yesterday.  Rest in peace sweet dog.

Withdrawal

I spent almost three years as the volunteer President of our Board of Directors at the childrens’ theatre in my town.  I was the Vice-President and our President resigned.  This year I gave up my post.  I’m still on the Board of Directors, but no longer President.  I had good reasons, and I needed to do it.  That being said, I miss it.

It was fun being in charge (OK, not always.)  I was (and think still am) respected by many people in our larger community’s theatre circle.  I felt like people on our board really respected my opinion. 

Sometimes now I feel like they respected the title’s opinion more than mine.  Sometimes I feel like they don’t really need me any more. Sometimes I now feel out-of-place and kind of lonely.   I try to back off and let the new president, whom I like and respect, stretch her wings.  Yet I’m still there to help mentor and guide. 

I miss being the go to girl. 

Now the funny part is I am the one that came up with our term limits, and I did so for very good reasons.  We didn’t want people getting burned out or too much control. 🙂  Now I just have to learn to accept this role again.  It’s hard, because it changed me.  I changed it.  A very small handful of us took a struggling program and really made it take off.  It’s an amazing non-profit small business now with a whole range of programs for the community.  I’m really proud of what we accomplished.  It definitely was a “we” project, but I loved leading my team.  Probably explains my withdrawal.  I’m just learning to keep myself in balance.

OK, yes, God I am Listening

The last few days I have been discontented. There are many reasons.  The new year always brings on thoughts of change and self-reflection when I combine that with short, cloudy, cold days, I’m tired and grouchy. 

That being said there was an incident that happened where I felt like a blatant injustice occurred.  I don’t know when I have been this angry.  Partially because I feel my child was slighted, because of this injustice.  My mama bear instincts came out and I think my East-side girl kicked in.  I wanted to go whoop someone. 

I am lucky though that I also am in a position to change this from happening to any child in the future.  You think that would make me feel better.  So far not so much.  I’m on day 3 of seething. 

So this morning on my way to work, I switched my radio station.  On comes the DJ, “Are you holding on to an anger that is taking up too much of your energy?  You need to look at what you are holding on to.  Is it worth it?”

I already know I have the ability to change the situation for future.  My child is actually handling it with grace, honor, and a maturity his mother ought to imitate. 

So OK God, I am listening.  I will try very hard today to let go.  Why, oh, why is it so hard?

A Year of Change

This has been an incredible year.  Good and bad. 

A year ago I never dreamed I would be a mama to a toddler by summer.  Yet God just dropped him on our doorstep.  It an amazing series of events we sailed through all of the adoption work and he is now ours.  Talk about whimsy!  Whimsy with him is vacuuming the couch with his toy vacuum.  Today he stole the vacuum from the church nursery and was vacuuming the sanctuary before service.  He makes me laugh.  He makes me tired.

My other two are now in junior high.  How did that happen????  Then the oldest springs a girlfriend on me.  I’m not ready for this!  My three sons wear me out, keep me busy, but bring me intense joy.

Ice Cream, the Tongue Slide, and the Vortex Cocoon

After spending my non-whimsical day pricing garage sale clothes, I took my children to a new ice cream shop.  We tried about 10 flavors.  Cookie monster was awesome!  Almond joy was to die for!  But in the end I got caramel popcorn.  My 13 month old ate most of it, but we sat there with ice cream dripping down our chins.  N had blue ice cream everywhere.  It’s hard to believe he’s the oldest.  🙂

Afterwards the boys argued with me about which park to go to, but I won.  They were so glad.  Our town has redesigned a lot of the city parks.  This one just got finished.  It is really cool, but different from anything I’ve ever seen.  The slide seems like it is dangerous. It looks exactly like a tongue.  You straddle it as you go down.  I can’t get past that it looks like a tongue. 

I’s (my 13 yr old), favorite thing he nicknamed, the vortex cocoon.  You stand inside of a spiral and have someone spin you.  He begged me to spin him over and over.  Now he’s laying on the couch green.  Poor guy!

Whimsy wins over garage sale.