The last few days I have been discontented. There are many reasons. The new year always brings on thoughts of change and self-reflection when I combine that with short, cloudy, cold days, I’m tired and grouchy.
That being said there was an incident that happened where I felt like a blatant injustice occurred. I don’t know when I have been this angry. Partially because I feel my child was slighted, because of this injustice. My mama bear instincts came out and I think my East-side girl kicked in. I wanted to go whoop someone.
I am lucky though that I also am in a position to change this from happening to any child in the future. You think that would make me feel better. So far not so much. I’m on day 3 of seething.
So this morning on my way to work, I switched my radio station. On comes the DJ, “Are you holding on to an anger that is taking up too much of your energy? You need to look at what you are holding on to. Is it worth it?”
I already know I have the ability to change the situation for future. My child is actually handling it with grace, honor, and a maturity his mother ought to imitate.
So OK God, I am listening. I will try very hard today to let go. Why, oh, why is it so hard?