Did I Sign Up For All Of This?

In my last post Sleeping Mom commented, “sometimes I wonder did I sign up for all of this.”  Of course, that was specifically about temper tantrums.  It got me thinking though.

Before I had kids I know that I didn’t think about some of the challenges that I am facing.   I’m not even talking about the ADHD and Autism Spectrum stuff.  I’m thinking specifically school and girls.

As a teacher I expected my kids to excel at school.  I mean, why wouldn’t they?  OK, the ADHD, Autism thing… still I think my children are brilliant. 🙂  And they are, except they won’t turn in their assignments.  I’m not saying won’t do them. They just don’t turn them in….AAARGHH!

Then there is the girl thing.  When my 15-year-old got his heartbroken, it broke mine.  I wanted to smack the little girl who did it.  Now, I actually like her, but she hurt my baby.  I’m going to have a hard time when he actually MARRIES one.

The things I know that I didn’t intentionally sign on for:

• obsessions…toddlers/Blues Clues and Thomas….teenagers/screamo music and video games
• hour-long showers
• holes in the wall, that no one can explain
• 92 loads of laundry a week

and probably the most important thing that I didn’t sign up for was that grow up in the blink of a second.

 

Temper Tantrums

I have an incredibly stubborn two-year old.  He even beats my child that used to have three-hour melt downs (autism spectrum).  I have learned that there is a huge difference between a melt down and a full-blown temper tantrum.

Bless his little heart, but he thinks he should be in charge of the world.  He is strong, smart, and very precocious.  This is making for a parenting challenge that I didn’t expect.

I’m having Nanny 911 flashbacks while I try to make him take a time out.  Pretty sure Nanny Jo would have some things to say to me.  I’m not going to wrestle him into a time out though.  I will take him to his bedroom and sit in the door.  Ultimately, once he sits quietly (and this can take 25 minutes–or more)  I will let him up.

We aren’t at a point then that I can get him to sit for two minutes.  I think if he calms himself and sits at all then we are making progress.  I will get there, but first he has to learn that temper tantrum or not, I will make him sit.

Does anyone else have super stubborn two-year olds?

The Pool

Today we are going to the pool.  My friend Suzanne has one directly in her back yard, so they swim a lot.  I have a child with sensory processing issues that for years couldn’t do water, I got out of the habit of taking my kids to the pool.  Thankfully, E can handle the pool and even knows how to basic swim.  That is due to a lovely friend of mine that gave him private lessons.  She was beyond patient with him. 

Today we are taking the baby, the boys, and 4 cousins.  One of the cousins is the baby’s big sister.  I am hopeful that this will give them some good bonding time.  It’s hard to be 14 and trying to bond during weekly visits.   I am really hoping that this gives them time to play and bond in a more authentic environment.  Really not just for them, but for all of us.  We are not the usual family, but we are family. 

I am a little afraid that maybe I have put too many hopes into one trip to the pool.  Well that will be alright, we have all summer.  We can go again.

I’m a Boring Cook

I am a very basic, comfort food cook.  There are some things I make really well.  My soups rock!  I make a great lasagna.  My family loves my cheeseburger casserole and my chicken and noodles.

There you go that’s about it.  I’m not allowed to make tacos or anything too ethnic.  I live with a child that is VERY particular about his food.  My husband also has high cholesterol, so I watch that. 

Now if I’m really truthful this is where I admit that the last 6 months we have probably eaten out more than in.  I’m not proud of that, but I was basically working two full-time jobs.  However I am not doing that any longer.  I also cleaned off my table so that we can now eat there again. 

In the mail today I got my new issue of Clean Eating.  I started flipping through it and was very pleased with the articles this month.  I really like the Multiply Your Meals, $10 Family Dinners Fast, and the 14 Day Meal Plan.  I won’t lie my youngest probably won’t eat any of it.  I’m still going to try.  The Sesame Garlic Chicken recipe looks wonderful as does the Crustless Italian Quiché. 

I was drawn to the Moroccan Buffalo and Chickpea Chili until I realized they meant REAL buffalo not buffalo chicken.  I don’t think I’m ready to try that.  Now there is also some awesome pizza recipes.  That is an easy one to modify for E.  I just make his cheese, cheese, and only cheese.

Hmmm…I will try something this weekend and let you know how it goes.

The Best Cookies I’ve Had in AGES!!

Part of my weekend alone project was to bake something.  Even though everyone is home now, I still am working through my list.  I did get my house cleaned, really clean.  It looks pretty good, if I do say so myself.  🙂  So it was time to bake!

I had a bag of butterscotch chips, so I surfed the web looking for an oatmeal butterscotch chip recipe.  I found one, but altered it so much that I am now calling it mine.  🙂  However, I like you, so I will share.

Banana Oatmeal Scotchies

[this makes 4 dozen cookies]

Ingredients:
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour (I actually use a flour mixture, see below)
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract

2 bananas
3 cups quick or old-fashioned oats
1 2/3 cups (11 oz. package) NESTLE TOLL HOUSE Butterscotch Flavored Morsels

1/4 pecans (optional)

Preheat oven to 375.
Combine flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt in a small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar, eggs, vanilla, and banans extract in large mixer bowl. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in oats,pecans, and morsels. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.
Bake for 7 to 8 minutes for chewy cookies; 9 to 10 minutes for crisp cookies. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

They are wonderful!  Even my picky sensory child liked them!

Flour mixture (from The Sneaky Chef by Missy Chase Lapine)

1 Cup White Flour

1 Cup Whole Wheat Flour

1 Cup Wheat Germ

Mix it up and use it any time the recipe calls for flour.  I use it all the time.  My kids don’t even notice it anymore.  Even texture sensitive boy!

My cat enjoyed my day as well.

OK I just stuck that in, because I thought Stitch was cute.

Christmas Shopping

I’m not doing a lot of Christmas shopping this year.  Since we are currently a one income family, there just isn’t a lot of extra $$$.  I went shopping the day after Thanksgiving with my brother and sister, but didn’t buy a whole lot.

I heard on the television today that mom’s are sacrificing for their children this year, as women’s clothing sales are down 30%.  I believe it.  I know that I am forgoing presents this year.  Our cat and dog both had urinary tract infections and vet bills (OK, what are the odds that both would have an infection at the same time?)  Not to mention the occupational therapy and physical therapy bills that have all come due for E. 

I know I sound all humbug and Scroogelike.  I guess that is how I am feeling a little this year.  That is partly why I haven’t posted much.  Yet I have faith that this to will pass.  Soon it will be a new year, a new beginning.  My job right now is to make this an enjoyable time for my family.  To realize that although things are definitely a challenge right now, we are very blessed. 

We are blessed.  I was able to do some Christmas shopping.  Our stockings will not be empty and Santa will come.

Yummy recipe–OK kids aren’t into it, but…

I made an acorn squash tonight with applesauce, brown sugar, and raisins.  It was really good.

I left out the nuts as I knew my texture boy would hate that.  We can’t mix textures too much and nuts are a no-no.  Todd and I like the squash.  The boys made an instant judgement call and had to be forced to try it. 

They didn’t die from it, but they were very dramatic in their interpretations.  I won’t share those as my BOYS have gotten into gross bathroom humor lately.   

To be honest, I think they will eventually eat it.  It is just one of those things they will have to see again and again.  They will have to get used to the smell, sight, and eventually they will eat it.  It takes E a lot longer than his older brother, but sometimes we get there.

At least E tried it.  I couldn’t get him to try a beet.  🙂

Someone Asked Me, “When Did You Know?”

Yesterday someone asked me, “When did you know?”  They were referring to my son being on the autism spectrum.  It was a very difficult question, because sometimes I’m still not sure.

I didn’t know for a very long time.  I knew I had a baby that often didn’t make eye contact, but lots of times he did.  I knew I had to work really hard to make him smile and laugh.  Yet when my baby laughed it was always a deep belly laugh.

I knew I had a toddler that HATED water.  Not disliked–HATED!  He tried to expose me at swimming lessons to all of our town.  I knew that he disliked loud noises, loved to wrap his blanket around him.  He had this strange habit of sleeping between his bed and the wall.  I knew he quit eating most foods when he was a toddler. 

When he went to school the first year the teacher didn’t believe he could speak.  I assured her that he could.  He was just shy.  A few years later the teacher told me how he wouldn’t sit in the group, sometimes sat on his head, and wouldn’t look at people.  I figured he might have some social issues.  They suggested ADHD.  I thought that wasn’t quite right.

At an ADHD seminar I found the book the Out-of-Sync Child.  I thought I had figured my baby out.  Yet that wasn’t quite it either.  It wasn’t until between 2nd and 3rd grade that we finally had an evaluation done.  That was when they brought up PDD.  I wasn’t sure that I agreed.

Here we are three years later.  Finally in therapy.  Finally getting the alphasmart at school (I asked for it clear in 2nd grade.)  I finally am coming to terms with it.  It is such a long process for me. 

“When did I know?”  I’m just not sure.

Feeling confused!

This week our doctor shared the re-evaluations of our son.  Apparently E no longer falls on the autism spectrum.  He is close, but not officially “on”.  The doctor isn’t officially taking away his diagnosis.  They are going to re-evaluate again later this year. 

It took me three years to say he was and now he is not?   I have always said that E is a confusing case.  I remember a group of doctors all looking confused at a meeting in Iowa City.  He isn’t typical.  I have also seen a lot of growth in my baby over his lifetime. 

He is much more tolerant of sensory issues now that previously would have driven him into a melt down.   He looks at people when he speaks to them.  He has some absolutely wonderful relationships!  He is improving in his physical therapy and now only goes once a month.  He hyper-focuses on things less often.  (Meaning:  Before he would start talking about Pokemon and continue it for HOURS!  Now he is able to change the topic sooner.) 

I’m still confused though with how you suddenly aren’t on the autism spectrum any more.  To me he still has many of the same challenges that he had, and although I see improvement… I don’t know…

Teaching Idea to Help Children Choose Partners

An email that I sent out to the staff at my school, but thought I might post here as well:

Last night I went to my sons’ conferences.  For those of you that don’t know one of my children is on the autism spectrum and has auditory brain processing issues.  In other words, it takes him longer to figure out what we are actually saying to him or asking him to do.  Anyway, his teacher brought up that whenever she asks the kids to find partners he ends up wandering around the room without a partner and unsure what to do.  

 

Well she and I talked about this for a few minutes and between us we came up with a good strategy for him.  She is going to tell him early that they will be choosing partners later and to choose two people he can ask to be his partner.  Then instead of letting everyone choose their partner at once, she will release them by rows.

 

I thought this was great and is something many of us could use as we all have these kids occasionally.  You may not have one on the autism spectrum, but you might have one that ends up looking like a deer in headlights when asked to do this.  My son needs the social practice of asking someone to be his partner, but he also needs time to figure out who he is going to ask, how he is going to ask, and what to do if that person is already taken.  My son has the added challenge of becoming easily over sensitized by the activity and volume that ensues from everyone looking for a partner at once.  My instinct tells me that there are others out there that have similar issues.

 

Hope this is helpful,